We left New York, New York arm in arm; Sarah with her complimentary candyfloss, and me with her takeaway cup of steaming thick, hot chocolate and marshmallows.
"I need to finish this," she indicated the candyfloss and hot chocolate. "So we can sit for a while and talk."
"Okay."
We made our way towards the long flight of stairs that connected Raffles City to City Hall station and sat below a group of wannabe wannabe-emo boys. They eyed us with some interest. We duly ignored them.
"So how have you been?" she started. Then without waiting for an answer, "I don't get the feeling that you're okay. Even when you tell me you are, or that everything's fine.. I just don't think you're as okay as you say you are."
"You mean okay with the whole thing about the ex?" She nodded in affirmation. "I'm okay. Really. I don't feel anything for him at all. We're not friends - I'm definitely not his friend. But I don't hate him.. I'm not angry, or sad, or... I don't miss him anymore. I can't be bothered to hate him. It takes too much energy and effort. But I'm okay."
"But are you okay like.. are you happy? When was the last time you were happy?"
I sipped her hot chocolate thoughtfully. It was thick, liquid chocolate, steaming hot. I grimaced.
"During the concert, I guess." We'd gone for Rachael Yamagata's concert earlier that evening, and it'd been amazing - soaking in the richness of good music and company of close friends. I'd been happy then, for that ninety minutes.
"But that was temporary. I'm talking about just.. being happy.. you know?"
I knew. "I know."
"When?"
"I don't remember. I don't think I've been really happy in.. quite a while. Content, yes, but happy.. I don't remember when I last felt happy."
"I believe you will be."
I waited for her to go on while I tried to open the lid of the takeaway cup. It wouldn't budge.
She took it from me and opened it easily. I got the full benefit of her trademark semi-exasperated, semi-amused "What's wrong with you, you moron?" look. I shrugged helplessly.
"Marshmallow?" she offered.
I peered at the floating white puffs. "I don't like marshmallows."
She shot me a look of disbelief while she popped one into her mouth. "How can you not like marshmallows?"
She made it sound like heresy. "Especially the barbequed ones."
"How can you..?! Never mind."
We shared a comfortable pause while she finished her marshmallows and I drank her hot chocolate.
"I believe you will find happiness," she continued. "You will meet better guys. You will meet the right guy, and you will be happy."
I raised my eyebrows. "That would be.. difficult."
"I believe you will find the right guy.
"He will be very intelligent. Someone you can converse with, and who understands you. He will probably be.. not so handsome-"
"..damn." I interjected silently.
"-but he will be.. really nice. He will treat you really nice. Some people might find him too boring, but you won't mind because you'll see so many things in him (and I hope I will as well) that others don't. You'll see in him what you've never seen in other guys before.. and you will wonder why you never saw it earlier.
"You will love him," she went on, and ignoring the look of surprise on my face, "and he will make you happy. You will be happy."
We sat in silence for a while, Sarah and I, and then we continued talking. On the steps of City Hall station we sat unnoticed; deep in conversation about friendships and boys and weddings and happiness, consuming sticky, sweet calories by the thousands, and having a quietly wonderful time.
We parted ways in time to catch the last train. She hugged me goodbye and I went home feeling calm, and in peace with myself. It wasn't ecstacy, or the happiness that lasted, but it was good.
11 comments:
Wow. That guy she described sounds familiar leh. I wonder who is he.
I've noticed bores are usually loners. Very seldom would people look deep inside a person.
Personality usually wins over Character.
If by personality you mean the more visible/obvious part of someone's character, then I disagree.
I believe character still wins. Because personalities are skin deep.
But character? It's the stuff that makes a man. You can charm a room by being humorous, but what about qualities like integrity? Honour? Selflessness?
Ultimately, the stuff that takes longer to uncover are usually worth more.
Another thing - I think I've met enough people to know that loners are sometimes worth looking into. That's the thing about diamonds in the rough - they never look very pretty at first glance.
Hello ler, I stick by what I said still. =D
I agree with you bloodwash1. But not everyone are like you or I. I'll say more than half aren't like us.
That's why I said Personality usually wins over Character.
dear leraine. from the way you write, i really think u should consider pherpahs writing a book or something. i swear u'll make big bucks. ur post really made me feel like i was right next to u the whole time(:
lovely post :) it's, for lack of a better word, "genuine".
Nice. And I'm still waiting for your first novel:)
i like this part, ""He will be very intelligent. Someone you can converse with, and who understands you. He will probably be.. not so handsome-"
"..damn." I interjected silently."
lol...
Not a lot of bloggers get to hear this, but you write really well.
It must be fun to have friends that you can talk to like this. And even with my cynicism, i belive scenarios like Sarah painted do come to pass.
That's why I believe I'll date an actual human being next time.
hyde:
Gee. Me too.
I:
I guess Sarah's reply was more than adequate.
Sarah:
Thank you for your faith, sweetie.
Charles:
Thanks love but I'm not *that* great. Lol.
gypsy girl:
Thank you :)
mrdes:
Highly unlikely, but thanks :)
anonymous:
Yeah, well.. we can't have everything in life. Unfortunately.
Dorminic:
"An actual human being"..? Ever the optimist, aren't you? Lol.
And thanks. I don't think you dish out compliments freely.
http://princeofdamnation.wordpress.com/2007/07/14/new-york-new-york/
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